The care and training of your pet rock manual

User icon An illustration of a person's head and chest. Sign up Log in. Web icon An illustration of a computer application window Wayback Machine Texts icon An illustration of an open book. Books Video icon An illustration of two cells of a film strip. Video Audio icon An illustration of an audio speaker. A chip off the old rock can be much more serious than a chip off the young rock. In the first place, old rocks don't heal as quickly and first aid should be immediate.

Should you notice a chip off your old rock the first thing you must do is find the missing chip. Not just any old chip either! Your pet's own chip must be found and glued back in place. Any attempt to use a strange chip will cause a rejection of the new part and then where would you be? Rock Bottom. The first symptoms are mani-. Blood out of a rock. If you are getting blood out of your rock you should contact the Internal Revenue Service immediately. They've been attempting to do this very thing for years.

All the hours of training will be forgotten. It will be the saddest day of your life. From simple loss of memory it gets worse. So bad in fact, that we won't go into it here. There is no known cure. There's an old saying in rock circles, "Once a wild rock, always a wild rock. Rocks in the wild.

Perhaps you have seen a particular rock in the wild and thought it would make a nice pet. This is to be discouraged. Wild rocks can give you nothing but headaches. They can be surly, vicious, and unpredictable. They are nearly impossible to domesticate and. In closing.

If your rock should misbehave, be patient. If it should cause you problems, be forgiving. The world is already overcrowded with discarded, unwanted rocks, and millions must be destroyed each year. These poor, unfortunate rocks meet brutal ends in roadbeds, cement mixers, or as land fill. Check out MaxiMusic! MaxiMusic is a collection of over 13, oldies from hundreds of artists.

Thats nearly 60 Gigabytes of music in 32 alphabetized torrents. The space has been inserted in the links to disable them in the PDF file for security reasons. Open navigation menu. Close suggestions Search Search. User Settings. Skip carousel. Carousel Previous. Carousel Next. What is Scribd? Explore Ebooks. Bestsellers Editors' Picks All Ebooks. Explore Audiobooks. Bestsellers Editors' Picks All audiobooks. Explore Magazines. Editors' Picks All magazines. Explore Podcasts All podcasts.

Difficulty Beginner Intermediate Advanced. Explore Documents. Uploaded by Petting Rocks. Document Information click to expand document information Description: The original Pet Rock manual, as published by Gary Dahl, and provided with pet rocks.

The Pet Rock is a rock, that comes in a paper carrier with holes on it as it it were "alive" , complete with grass and the Care and Training booklet. The Care and Traning booklet was the real product, as it used funny pet-related puns, that you could actually do, that allowed you to "train" your pet rock.

Did you find this document useful? After seventytwo hours have passed you may remove the rock from its box and begin enjoying your new pet. Your pet rock and you. NOTE: If, when you remove the rock from its box it appears to be excited, place it on some old newspapers. The rock will know what the paper is for and will require no further instruction. It will remain on the paper until you remove it. Once you have transcended the awkward training stage your rock will mature into a faithful, obedient, loving pet with but one purpose in life—to be at your side when you want it to, and to go lie down when you don't.

When you own a PET ROCK you never have problems with leash law violations, you'll never have to clean up nasty messes, and your pet will never keep you and the neighbors awake at night. Know your rock. They descend from a long line of famous rocks. Their ancestors can be found amongst the rubble of the pyramids; the cobblestone streets of ancient European cities; the Great Wall of China.

They are then examined for congenital defects prior to intelligence evaluations. Upon passing initial tests they are prepared for shipping, packed into their little boxes, and sent throughout the world to anxious owners.

Your rock Is an individual. There are hundreds of breeds of rocks. Nobody, but nobody likes a surly, misbehaving rock. Therefore, it is most important that you begin training immediately. Your PET ROCK should be made to know who is the boss, and that you will demand certain good manners and impeccable behavior if the two of you are to have a happy, well adjusted relationship.

One halfhour session is not recommended as a rock's attention span is rather short. Remember; a bored rock is an unhappy rock. Amusing tricks will be covered in Section Two.

Simple obedience. A rock that doesn't come when it's called will cause its owner endless embarrassment. No special equipment is required in training your new pet. Amazingly, a rock is one of the few pets that will respond to training without the aid of leash or choke chain. First, select a special training area. Use the same area for all training sessions until your rock is showing good progress.

Command gently but firmly. If you have not, do so before proceeding with obedience training. To teach the command COME, place your rock on the floor or ground and take a few steps backward. Next, bending over from the waist, place your hands upon your knees and face your rock. If you have not named your rock Brutus you may wish to say something else.

Now, start walking slowly toward your rock. Incredibly, as you walk toward your rock you will notice that it actually is coming closer. Praise your rock and give it a pat of approval.

Assuming your rock is normal it will probably not respond. Start again. Bending over from the waist, face your rock, clap your hands, and let A pat of approval works wonders.

Return to your training area and set your rock upon the floor or ground. Look at your rock intently, like you really mean business, and give the command, STAY. Surprisingly, most rocks have no difficulty learning this command and respond quite obediently the first time they hear it.

Repeat the command, STAY, and slowly back away from your rock. If your rock should move, and this is highly unlikely, shout the command while gesturing dramatically with the palm of your outstretched hand. With further patience you can train your rock to STAY by using only the hand signal. However, a refresher course is certainly in order since you will want your rock to sit when you want it to, not when it wants to.

Place your rock in its training area and give the command, SIT. Many rocks will attempt to deceive you by lying down, thinking that you won't know the difference. This should not be encouraged!

If you say, SIT, then your rock should sit and that's all there is to it. Now, hide in another room and, from time to time, peek in on your rock to make sure it hasn't moved. It will also know who's the boss! Your rock will now remain sitting until further notice. It would be cruel to leave your rock in the sitting position forever.

Therefore, it is necessary that you teach it the command, DOWN. After sitting for a long period of time your rock will appreciate the chance to relax. Praise your rock and give it a gentle, reassuring hug. If you've made a big fuss about your rock sitting properly it maybe reluctant to move. Place your foot upon your rock and push it firmly into the carpet or dirt. It won't take long before your rock understands what you want it to do.

A rock has no feet. It is extremely unusual to see a rock strolling around unaccompaniedThere's a very good reason for this. Next, give the command, HEEL, and stand absolutely still. Slowly, without moving your feet, turn and look down at your rock. You will be both pleased and amazed to see it is still there, right where you want it be, directly behind your right heel.

Praise your rock. Amusing Tricks. It is surprisingly easy to teach your rock cute tricks that will entertain you and your friends for hours. Roll Over. That statement may be hard to believe but it is, nevertheless, quite true.

Now, let go of your rock. It's that simple! Play Dead. Your rock will roll end-over-end and will not stop until it tires of the game. Follow your rock to the bottom of the hill and praise it profusely. Performing its first trick. It is one of the most entertaining tricks a rock can learn, and a trick that is sure to get many affectionate laughs and approving glances from you and your friends.

If your rock is like most rocks it will not have to be told more than once.